Funny Pick Up Lines

i like these .. theyre cute

LIFEGUARD PICKUPS!

10. The Red Cross has certified me as a fully trained love machine
9. Coast Guard regulations, Miss - i have to inspect you for sand mites
8.I want to be with you tonight- even though you are a plastic CPR dummy
7.If I cant have you , life isn't worth gaurding
6.i got something that could use a little resusitation
5. will you help anchor my lifegaurd tower by sitting on my lap?
4. Has anyone told you how beautiful you look caughing seawater out of your lungs?
3. Can i buy you a glass of Sunscream?
2.when you press your ear to my shorts you can hear the ocean
1. Surf isn't the only thing thats up

*~*CrAzY PiCk Up LiNeS -4- GuYs*~*

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself. ~hehe I like that one!!

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a
crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll
be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
The Top 51 worst pick-up lines

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.

Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your BedRock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you I'd be coming too.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King; you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

I enjoy doing maintenance; you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the Bomb.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"

Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."

Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."

Excuse me, can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.

I look good on you.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, could I visit you between the Holidays?

You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what's one more going to hurt?

F*ck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

Excuse me, do you wanna f*ck, or should I apologize?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Do you want to dance? No? Well I guess a f*ck is out of the question.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac. How good are you at playing dead?

I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.

Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day long.

You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.

The word for the night is legs; let's go back to my room and spread the word.

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, or yield?

Hi my name is _______. Remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night long.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.

You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.

The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.

BEST COMEBACK:

Guy: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore"

Hi, my name is Skippy. Like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth.

Hi, my name is Pogo. Want to jump on my stick?

Want to play conductor?? You be the engineer and I'll go Choo choo

Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?