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Where does an ape sleep?
In an apricot.
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?
A carpet.
A certain leisure complex had a cinema and a swimming pool. One day, the
cinema screen fell into the pool. The owners left it there and used it as a
dive-in theater.
What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have?
Rep-tiles.
What does a cat say when he likes something?
It's purrrfect.
What kind of flower grows on your face?
Tulips.
A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the
beer, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed
that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips
later the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the
bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I
keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in
here but us."
"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."
Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?
He couldn't part with it.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this
thing?"
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